Our Beautiful Presence

“When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it's bottomless, that it doesn't have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space.”      ( A Buddhist Nun)

I was speaking with a friend recently and we talked about relationship issues and how they can be so frustrating.  I’m sure we all can relate with this.  We cannot be away from relationship, unless we were living in a cave.  Yet, what about the relationship we have with nature and the critters around us?  I met a Buddhist monk some years ago, having lived in a cave himself, he had to contend with the mosquitoes.  He even had a mosquito net that went over an umbrella while sitting in meditation and somehow they got in anyway.  He said the "mosquitoes were a clever nuisance."  And, he soon realized that his practice now became observing his experience with the mosquitoes - loving and accepting them as they are - which he benefitted from greatly.  He also admitted that it wasn’t easy.

So, in this conversation with my friend, we both admitted that reacting, resisting or avoiding what is coming up in relationship is not the answer.  So, how do we remain cool in a heated situation without faking it?  Yes, we can pretend that it didn’t bother us and avoid it completely by putting on a calm, cool collected presence.  But, as you may have discovered, that doesn’t resolve it.  The tension is still there in the space between us. 

What I have discovered has been quite simple but not always easy.  I just have to remember to apply it in the moment of when a position/opposition arises.  First, admit to myself that I am reacting to this person’s comments or actions.  Don’t cover it up … let it all be fully seen as it is.  Next, don’t judge what is being seen … just let it be whatever it is.  I notice the whole experience, dynamically, and what effect it is having in all areas of the body, emotions and thoughts (body-mind).  This “noticing,” from that which is seeing, puts me in a completely different perspective … one of being objective and even ok with what is happening.  Now, there is a space created that gives some room to wait and let it all diffuse before speaking.  Just asking questions and listening is key at this point.  Most times my position doesn’t seem to be so imperative to be shared.  Especially, as I see the other person’s position - and I notice it is quite different from my perspective – to me, it seems to be more imperative to have harmony in the relationship over having my position be heard.

Now, you may say, “that doesn’t seem fair that you may not have a voice in this situation.”  Well, yes, it may appear to be unfair, so, I ask myself:  “What is more important, my position being validated or having harmony in this relationship?” … “What is more loving?” … “What honors the beauty of our Presence in this situation?”

Ramana Maharshi says, “Make the distinction between what is Real or Eternal and what is Unreal or Transient and live from what is Real.” This is where we have free choice, right here.   I have found again and again, the choice we make from Love is what is Real and Eternal … it is our living and being the Heart.  As long as I am “giving myself a voice” and seeing what is so within me, the most important aspect is being honored.  Do I have to have my voice heard for me to be validated?  The truth is self-evident and being the truth is complete within itself, isn’t it?

Again, I admit that it isn’t always an easy choice to make.  It would be much easier to let the emotions take over and have a release from the pressure cooker.  The road less travelled is the above one.  Haven’t we found how much better it feels when we honor the Beautiful Presence that we all are no matter what the dynamics of the situation?  

While being here in Maine, house-sitting on the Reuthe’s farm, I am getting how significant it is being in what is Real while relating with animals.  On the farm there are two horses, over a dozen hens, a cat and two dogs.  When someone drives up the driveway, the two dogs go crazy with excitement.  They love people and can’t wait to be with them.  It’s kind of cute, actually, to see how affectionate they can be.  On the other hand the loud barks and frantic behavior immediately brings a tension into the space and it brings up an immediate response to try to quiet them.  It came up that I was getting caught up in their high, frantic energy.  So, in honoring this Beautiful Presence that the dogs are, I now take a deep breath, bring into my awareness any tension in me that is resonating with their high energy and accept what is present as it is.  What a difference.  Now, it isn’t even what I say to them, even though communication still occurs ... it is honoring what is true and real ... and they quiet down and come into the calm, naturally.  It’s amazing to see how dramatically it shows what is shared above.  

"... this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space ..."

Loving this Beautiful Presence we all are,

Elizabeth